ragingyoghurt

1

anzac day was commemorated with a cup of tea and an anzac biscuit, while watching the tail end of a 50s war movie on tv. people sure spoke loudly and clearly in those days.

earlier in the day, during the televised parade of ancient diggers and their medals marching up george street, the question “what happens as they all die out? who’ll take their place marching?” was answered with “there’ll just be more wars”.

the boy and i visited the australian war memorial museum in canberra a week and a bit ago. [could the hype-writers across the country please take note that this is the mark against which “world class” should be measured?] packed with relics and stories and dioramas, so many dioramas. scale models of battlefields. helmets all sieve-like with bullet holes. archival footage of a japanese child, still alive, whose back was skinned by an atom bomb.

it still surprises me, what people do to other people.

posted by ragingyoghurt on 26 April 2004 at 7:47 am
permalink | filed under around town, boy, snacks, trip

road trip report

1

no, there was no easter road carnage. not involving us anyway, and surprisingly few incidents that involved squished marsupials. there was nary even an attempt to learn to drive (let alone start up the car) on my part. mainly, i handed out snacks and gazed out the window at brown and cows. ahh cows.

there were many tasty treats along the way, including such fabled delights as a curried prawn casserole for tea and a breakfast involving two kinds of sausages, bacon, fried eggs, toast, sweet tea and a surprise delivery of lambs fry (with bacon). there was a roasted loin of lamb wrapped in vine leaves perched atop a tomato and olive salad, drizzled with tzaziki, with a bowl of buttered vegetables on the side. there were pasties and sweet buns, and a pizza experience the likes of which may i please o please never have again. there were two sips of a yummy sparkling shiraz before my throat started to close. there was a kebab. there was a turkey and salad sandwich half the size of my head, and a strawberry thickshake. there was a fat burger from a takeaway shop in yass, which had a refrigerated counter full of coleslaw…

there were mountains, and walks up and down mountains, and valleys, and the magnificent murray river, and the bewildering national museum of australia in canberra. there were good times, dammit.

posted by ragingyoghurt on 22 April 2004 at 6:09 pm
permalink | filed under boy, breakfast, dinner, lunch, snacks, trip

5

ah the wonder of easter that is everlasting salvation and chocolate mud donuts.

to the inexplicably loyal handful who show up here every day or so on the odds that there will be an update: this donut will have to last you all week, for i am an hour and a half away from taking my chances with the easter road toll.

hell, mentioning the all-week donut has reminded me of this story that i was told in primary school, so i’ll leave that with you as well.

“a long time ago in china, there was a boy who, being the only child, was spoilt by his mother. she would do everything for him, even bathing him and feeding him right into his teenage years. as he neared adulthood, his mother was one day called away to another village. she was reluctant to leave her son all defenceless by himself, but she had no choice. as he was incapable of feeding himself, she thought the best thing to do was to make a large biscuit, which she tied to a string around his neck; all he had to do was move his head and take a bite when he was hungry. by her calculations the biscuit was big enough to last a week. the bathing could wait until she returned.

a week later she came through her front door to discover her son dead of hunger in his cot. the biscuit had only been eaten only a small way through. the son had been too lazy and stupid to use his hands to turn the biscuit round and had starved when his mouth could no longer reach beyond biting range.”

yep. i don’t know what they intended to learn us, but i’m sure it was meant to be character building. and just look at me now.

posted by ragingyoghurt on 9 April 2004 at 7:17 am
permalink | filed under cake, chocolate, misc, trip

0

what i’ve been doing the last couple of days is making print ready artwork for a series of promotional posters for one of those reality tv shows in which twelve housemates get locked in a house with hidden cameras and then get voted off one by one over three months or so. these posters will be mounted three to a trailer which will be towed around the city streets, obstructing traffic and polluting the already toxic city air in more ways than one. for all this, i apologise.

in keeping with the tradition of having a celebratory breakfast to mark the completion of the job, i made this lovely spring-coloured toastie: thinly sliced avocado, salted and peppered, on wholemeal. i like green food.

posted by ragingyoghurt on 8 April 2004 at 8:46 am
permalink | filed under breakfast, werk

1

on the inside of the cap of my bottle of apple-cranberry juice — a juice so tart that after every slurp you have to pucker up and say “wooh!” — is printed something called a “liddle fact™”. this one states plainly, “fish can drown”.

are the copywriters at the juice factory disgruntled? are they not supposed to be writing upbeat little morsels like the last one i got, about honey bees? truly, i am surprised.

what i also found surprising, the first seventeen times i saw it on tv, was the ad for new fanta spider. so, there’s a japanese guy studying at his desk and suddenly he sneezes in the way that asian people do: no covering up of facial orifices, no turning away, just open-mouthed “ha-chaah”. and out of his nose? mouth? springs a bottle of fanta. oh how i laughed.

“i must have one of those, ” i said, as two bikini-clad girls popped out of a plastic orange and a plastic ice-cream cone-cup, chirping “it’s fruity! and creamy”.

and it really is. advertising has never been so truthful.

posted by ragingyoghurt on 7 April 2004 at 8:05 am
permalink | filed under drink, tv

6

waking up at 6.30 in the morning is wrong, more so when you’ve been waking up every two hours since 11.30 the night before. what with the clocks turning back to mark the end of summer time, the sun’s way too brutal at 6.30 to be slept through anyway. oh when will the soothing darkness of winter be upon us? (please come back in winter to hear me complain about the sun that sets at 4.40 in the afternoon)

the 7am bowl of cereal (flakes of grains, plus raisins and apricots) will only be in its most literal sense, a break fast. what you’ll really hang out for is the 11.30 burst of kitchen activity — a flurry of mixing and boiling and slicing and stiring over low heat and toasting, that mere minutes later has you all twitchy with excitement and glee.

buttered toast with a scrambled egg, sliced tomato and avocado, all salted and peppered, and a cup of sweetish tea, and then just when you think it’s all over, a crunchy anzac biscuit.

maybe in a few hours i could have waffles and syrup and bacon. what i need to do is make a button that says “breakfast all day”.

posted by ragingyoghurt on 2 April 2004 at 12:10 pm
permalink | filed under breakfast, kid

2

how i have scoffed at blogs that routinely post results of online quizzes, and how it has turned around and bitten me in the ass. but, i mean, who doesn’t like cheese?

cheese test: what type of cheese are you?
[ via da*xiang ]


i am montery jack cheese! i am a soft, buttery, easily melting cheese. i am very shy and reserved and i easily blend in. i believe in fate and magick. or maybe…


i am camembert! i am a creamy, delicate tasting cheese. i am refined and graceful and very organised. as a very insightful cheese, i like to ponder the meaning of life.

what a friend we have in cheeses!

posted by ragingyoghurt on 28 March 2004 at 3:02 pm
permalink | filed under misc

3

yesterday afternoon i closed a car door on my leg. sigh.

this is like, some sort of superturbo spring loaded car door which slams shut rather frighteningly if you so much as beckon it towards you once you’re comfortably seated. this had happened enough times (three) in an afternoon that the boy, although not saying in so many words “you really don’t have to slam the door so hard,” at the last occurance, had uttered, “hmmm”.

when we got home after our excursion to gardens ‘r’ us, i got out of the car and attempted to close the door quietly after myself by holding on to the handle and slowly, smoothly guiding the door along its arc. sadly, a momentary lapse in my depth of field perception meant that my leg was still in the range of the swinging door.

so, it wasn’t like i slammed the door on my leg. more like the sharp corner on the bottom edge of the door was dragged slowly and smoothly across and into my flesh. oh the whimpering noises that ensued. the bent over double. the pleasant surprise that blood wasn’t dribbling down my leg and puddling around my feet. instead, the curious bruise.

fortunately a couple of hours later i was distracted from this throbbing lump by an invitation to ms anna’s house by the sea, where a video was rented and takeaway dinner procured. the video was “terminator 3”, which was so unspectacular and tedious in parts that we could concentrate fully on the lavish spread, which was vietnamese, and included a serve of banh xeo [from wanderingspoon.com] complete with a plastic bag of fresh herbs for sprinkling. oh banh xeo, how i have longed for thee.

posted by ragingyoghurt on 28 March 2004 at 12:50 pm
permalink | filed under around town, boy, dinner

0

after an evening spent “self-medicating”, the boy woke up to the 6.30 alarm, called in “sick”, went back to bed, woke up again, had a slice of chocolate cake and said, “shall we go for a little adventure?” woohoo.

to get to mount tomah botanic garden you get to drive through the city, and then the north shore, and then the seminal suburbs of greater sydney, and then some farms, and then a couple of historic old towns, and then apple orchards, and then just the long and winding road up the mountain. there will be birdsong and the smell of green. when you arrive at the garden, hungry, you will discover that the kiosk is closed and that the only other option for luncheon is the fancy restaurant where a filled bagel will cost you $12, and anything else, much more. so you will walk around the shrubbery for a couple of hours, fueled only by a small package of lemon yoghurt candies.

when you find yourself weak with hunger and unable to unwrap another sweet, you will get back in the car and follow the windy road round to blackheath where one of you will acquire a big lot burger the size of a small marsupial, and the other, me, a steak sandwich of a more modest scale. both come with beetroot, hurrah! there will also be a pile of fat, hot chips sprinkled with chicken salt, and everything will be bundled up for a picnic in the park. later, when you throw a cold chip at a native bird, you may feel slightly disturbed that as well as probably more salt than a bird should consume, this bird is also eating bits of ground up chicken.

engh whattya gonna do. anyway, it is already late afternoon and there is still a mountain to climb halfway down to, a waterfall to gawk at, the upward journey, the drive back down the mountain, the rush hour city traffic, the three pieces of watermelon out of the fridge, the final slow climb up the stairs, the sinking into bed. all before 8.30.

i want to sleep for a week.

posted by ragingyoghurt on 25 March 2004 at 11:18 am
permalink | filed under around town, boy, candy, lunch

7

argh. what have i done?

which doesn’t mean so much really. just that i know some road rules and will now be even more incensed when “licensed drivers” try their hardest to run me down in the street. and then there’s the small matter of being able to see over the steering wheel. sigh.

still, to celebrate, summer rolls and rainbow drink at xic lo in chinatown, and then a mixed bag of buns for home.

posted by ragingyoghurt on 17 March 2004 at 3:25 pm
permalink | filed under around town, lunch, misc, snacks
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