today i beat up a door. today i stepped out onto the sidewalk and wanted to run. away. anywhere. because i dislike running, though, i walked very quickly, and found myself heading in the direction of kmart. i haven’t been swimming in almost a year. i haven’t done yoga — aside from the occasional cluster of sun salutes and a cursory stretch every now and again — in over five months. my body is atrophying. my backbone is clenchy. i find myself buying strings of paper lanterns and overpriced (though very beautiful) christmas lights, because everything else seems so dark, dammit. some days i find myself in a place even cake cannot reach.
today i thought i’d catalogue the jams in my moth-infested pantry.
already opened in the fridge and in various stages of gone-ness are:
apricot jam — the last centimetre at the bottom of the jar
raspberry conserve — more than halfway gone
cherry jam — i would like more of this to be gone, but its strange and unjammy liquid state and lack of cherry flavour have kept me from fulfilling its destiny
papaya and macadamia nut jam — a gift, this remains barely eaten after many months; it has a strange solid texture and is studded with distracting fragments of macadamias
rhubarb ginger conserve — almost as unsuccessful as the papaya macnut jam
the jams-in-waiting are:
cottees apricot conserve
hanks pear cinammon jam
harrods christmas mature thick cut marmalade with orange liqueur
harrods ginger extra jam
les palais des thés rhubarbe au thé vert du japon
luxardo 170% fruit marasca cherry preserve
st dalfour gourmet pear 100% fruit spread
young maid cherry jam
young maid raspberry and cashew jam
this is of course not counting the two kinds of honey, cinnamon sugar, vegemite and chocolate sprinkles that grace my bread from time to time. and then, hidden under a pile of clothes on the dresser upstairs is a jar of chocolate body paint (with saucy stencils) that i was given at christmas. the list of ingredients suggest that it could be used as a breadspread instead.
meanwhile, what the hell hints have i been exuding that made chocolate body paint an appropriate gift?
so. fourteen jams in total. one with 170% fruit. it must be a sign of… something, i’m sure. i think, perhaps, i need a new loaf of bread.
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When I was in last in Singapore, I was walking through a glorified (but funfunfun!) version of market stall. You know overpriced ‘asian’ house decor. So anyway, I knew my luggage was over the weight allowance, yet I still bought a big box of these string art lights. No matter that plug was made for a singaporean power socket. No matter that I had to carry the big box in the big bag on board my flight back to Sydney. And now 1 year later the big box still sits unopen in my wardrobe. The lights are very pretty. With tangerine, light pink, cream and baby yellow thin string, woven into spheres. Inside there is a light bulb!
The point of the story. Don’t feel bad about making spontaneous light purchases.
And jam. Wow. You are a jam collector.
I cannot believe you have that many unopened jams in waiting. I only have one jam in the fridge. But I tend to not finish food before it goes bad too …
clearly, the gene that makes other girls buy shoes has manifested itself in other ways, in me.
saffron, unpack those lights at once! they sound lovely.
i impulse bought some grape jelly a month or so ago. i think i’ve used it twice.
the last time i bought jelly/jam before that was probably three years ago. i think it was the same kind, too.
goes to show how often i have a craving for squishy and sweet.
ii would make a pb&j right now (almost 3am) if i actually had bread. =/
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[...] of you may remember the post from earlier in the year, about my fourteen jams. i am slowly making my way through them, and have [...]